At IEP meetings are meetings during which a team made up of parents, teachers, and school administrators work together to create an individualized education program (IEP) for a student. The IEP formalizes the special education services, supports, goals, and accommodations a student with a disability will receive in school. IEP meetings are often stressful for both parents and their children.
Parents often walk into IEP meetings with hope, fear, and the responsibility of advocating for their child. The stakes at IEP meetings are high. The supports provided in IEP plans often are the difference between a child having a successful educational journey and a child failing at school.
During IEP meetings, strong parental advocacy is not optional, it is essential for equity, clarity, and meaningful outcomes. The school IEP team of general education teachers, special education teachers, school psychologists, and administrators think of themselves as experts when it comes to educating students. Often the school team does not think of parents as experts and prefers to present parents with a finished IEP document rather than having parents participate in the creation of an IEP program. Additionally, traditionally marginalized parents often report that schools do not have their children’s best interests at heart (Davis). Because of these facts, it is often important for parents to come to these meetings prepared to advocate for what they feel is in the best interest of their parents.
This article will discuss the reality parents face in IEP meetings, why advocacy support is essential, and what happens when parents do not have advocacy support. And how parents can access advocacy support.
The Reality Parents Face in IEP Meetings
From the parents’ perspective at an IEP meeting, there are power imbalances built into the system, an abundance of jargon, acronyms, and technical language, emotional overload, as well as systemic barriers and bias. These things work together to make it hard for parents to feel comfortable and on good footing at IEP meetings.
Power Imbalances Built into the System
At IEP meeting, the school comes to the meeting room with a team of professionals. Most parents attend IEP meetings alone. When a parent comes to the IEP meeting with an attorney, the school IEP team grows exponentially in size. Due to these realities, parents may feel outnumbered, intimidated, or dismissed by the school team.
Jargon, Acronyms, and Technical Language
The members who are part of the school IEP team are accustomed to using specialized language and acronyms as part of their daily work as educators. Some common examples are FAPE, LRE, SDI, and progress monitoring. These terms are defined in the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act of 2004. FAPE stands for Free Appropriate Public Education which guarantees that every child with a disability has a right to an education that meets their unique needs at no cost to the family. LRE stands for Least Restrictive Environment. LRE requires that students with disabilities learn with their non-disabled peers as much as possible while receiving the appropriate supports. SDI refers to Specially Designed Instruction which is instruction that is tailored to the child’s unique needs. It is more than accommodations. SDI makes changes to how a child is taught. Progress monitoring is the systems the school uses to measure whether the child is making progress toward their IEP goals.
Emotional Overload
IEP meetings are emotionally charged. Parents often experience emotional overload when they are participating in IEP meetings. The weight of discussing one’s child, their special needs, challenges, strengths, and desires for the future are heavy weights to bear. The associated mental and emotional overload may make it difficult for parents to process the information given at IEP meetings. It may also make it difficult for them to advocate effectively.
Systemic Barriers and Bias
It is important to note that for some families; families of color, multilingual families, and families with limited resources often face additional hurdles in the IEP process. These hurdles include systemic barriers and bias from teachers, staff, and school administrators. The implicit bias of the school team may shape how parental concerns are heard and the way in which services are offered to students.
Why Advocacy Support Is Essential
Parental advocacy support is an important part of the IEP process. Because of the mental and emotional stress of the IEP process, parents benefit from advocacy support. A knowledgeable advocate helps balance the power dynamic between the school IEP team and parents. Advocacy support workers help parents feel less alone and more confident. Advocates can translate jargon and specialized educational terms into plain language parents can easily understand. Advocates also help parents feel more confident and as if they are not alone in the process. By doing this, advocates help parents understand what is being proposed and what is missing from the proposed IEP plan.
Advocacy support workers protect parents’ voices, articulate their concerns. These advocates ask the questions that parents want to have answered. It is also the job of the advocacy support worker to push back respectfully on behalf of parents and their children. It is also their job to make sure parents’ lived experiences are centered.
Advocacy advocates also help parents by preventing oversights and errors. They do this by making note of missing data, vague goals, or unsupported services. It is the job of the advocacy advocate to help catch gaps before they become long-term problems.
What Strong Advocacy Support Looks Like
Strong advocacy support means helping parents prepare for the meeting, providing support during the meeting, providing emotional regulation and grounding during the meeting, and ends with post meeting follow up. Advocacy supporters help parents prepare for the IEP meeting by reviewing evaluations, drafts, and data. They help parents identify priorities and non-negotiables. Some even help parents by creating a meeting-day plan or script for parents to practice before the meeting.
During the meeting advocacy supporters help parents by taking notes, tracking decisions, and monitoring the tone of the parties at the meeting. It is their job to ask clarifying questions. It is also their job to ensure that the team follows all legal and procedural requirements. Advocacy supporters help parents stay calm and focused on the proceedings. They can intervene when conversations become tense or defensive. This means that parents can stay calm and get the most they can out of the meeting while the advocate fights the battles for parental voice and point of view.
After the meeting, advocacy support workers help parents review the final IEP. They collaborate with parents to identify the next steps, timelines, and monitoring strategies. They also play a role in preparing for future meetings or amendments to the IEP.
How Advocacy Strengthens Equity in Special Education
Advocacy whether undertaken by parents or advocacy support workers strengthen equity in special education. Advocacy interrupts bias by helping ensure decisions are based on data and not assumptions. Advocacy helps parents challenge deficit-based language. As mentioned previously in this article, families of color, immigrant families, and low-income families often face bias and systemic barriers that advocacy can help mitigate or call to the surface. Advocacy promotes transparency and accountability. They do this by ensuring schools follow timelines, provide documentation, and meet their legal obligations. Advocacy support workers support parents. When parents are supported, they can engage more confidently and constructively. As a result, they get better results for their children and for children throughout the school. Advocacy for students in the IEP process is important because it helps build collaboration and helps all parties see that they are not adversaries, but teammates who must work together as a team to get the best results possible for students.
Conclusion
Parents deserve support when participating in the IEP process. They do not need support because they are incapable. They need support because the IEP process is complex and stressful. All parties to the IEP process, school and families must start with the idea that advocacy is not about conflict. It is about clarity, equity, and ensuring every child receives what they need to thrive. Parents should seek support early and often. All parties should remember that parents are the experts on their children. Advocacy and the desire to have the most successful IEP meeting possible requires that parents’ expertise be honored.
References
Davis, J. (2025). We love our kids too: Black parents supporting the academic success of their children in affluent, predominantly White school districts (Doctoral dissertation, West Chester University). West Chester University Open Commons. https://digitalcommons.wcupa.edu/all_doctoral/328/
Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, 20 U.S.C. ยง 1400 (2004). (
Further Reading
The Best Educators Strive to Create Equity-Centered Classrooms
Unlock Your Doctoral Success: Coaching & Resources That Work
Adapting a Miracle Morning Routine for Educators
About the Author
Dr. Janeane Davis is Founder and Principal Consultant at Janeane Davis and Associates: Educational Consultants. Her mornings begin with movement, meaning, and a well-lit desk where rituals become roadmaps. She writes to help educators build mornings that nourish their mission and sustain their momentum.
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